His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
