Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
