he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
its not stalking. its research.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize