I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
