I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
