you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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