you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
tell your sister to shave her snatch
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
