he thought i was a dude.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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