Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
