My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
