smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
