And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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