The brown eye won't let me do that either.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
why do cheetos always look like penises
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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