So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
im calling her cock vulture from now on
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
