her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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