Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Im part way to drunk.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
