singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Randomize
