the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
