Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
