I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
