Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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