I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Randomize
