Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
