theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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