But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
You are a booty call, not a friend.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
