Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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