I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
