i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
