is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
