I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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