no. you can't hotbox the world.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
