it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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