He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
