I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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