So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
My dick has a subreddit
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
