Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
