mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
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