feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
