I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
