You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
