So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
