Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
