Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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