I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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