so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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