Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
