Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Still dying that you shit outside
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
