My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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