Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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