smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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