On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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