I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
