So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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