My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
