he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize