dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
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