brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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