Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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