Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
