Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
