You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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