And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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