they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
