Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
