I didn't shave. On purpose
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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