There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
