Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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