i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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