cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Randomize
