let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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