If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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